Do you know what bullying is? Do you really know?

Years ago you might have said a bully was an elementary school child pulling a girl's pigtails.

This was escalated in 1999 by the Columbine High School Massacre, which was both the outcome of bullying and an extreme and violent experience of bullying at the same time.

These are just the tip of the iceberg.

Many people think of bullying as only occurring in others . . .
Many people think of bullying as only occurring in children . . .

I see bullying in a different light. After over 30 years committed to healing the abuse of power in our world, I see bullying as a clue to important knowings many people aren’t aware of. One of those is found in the title of my workshops and talks related to bullying: There's A Bully in All of Us.

Many people don't want to look at this, explore this, find the truth in this . . . heal the bully within themselves. But if we don't, we will not truly heal bullying in our world!

WHAT OTHERS ARE SAYING ABOUT JUDITH'S WORK
RELATED TO BULLYING …

Thank you, Judith. Thanks for always going to the root, for speaking frankly, for standing firmly and truly, for your fearlessness to going near the topics many fear going to. I'm moved by your words. Thank you very much.
- Noah Rubinstein, Founder and CEO, GoodTherapy.org

I attended your telephone conference on "There's A Bully in All of Us" and I wish to say that I am so pleased and I have taken away much more than I had imagined . . . Thank you so much for your time and inspiration. I hope I am able to do your talk justice and stop my own bully and those I encounter. Thank you.
- Linda Gomez, teacher in Spain, and participant at Judith's web conference, There's a Bully in All of Us

Just want to thank you again for your speaking tonight on bullying! . . . Your speech was powerful and one of the best I have heard to take in all aspects of being bullied, bullying, leadership and why they bully, and how and what we teach our children and how I had to learn to get rid of all of that as I parented and teach it in action and not in words and still do today. And it is a lesson we all need to learn daily to teach in actions and not words. I am so encouraged by the way in which you brought it all into one perspective and that is that it is a form of powerlessness! And as I have healed and gone back and undone all the things that I have been capable of undoing I have gained love power . . . I so enjoyed your talk and thank you ever so much.
- Tina Rosario, participant at Judith's web conference, There's a Bully in All of Us

Thank you for the precious and inspiring event. It made me and my colleagues from work reflect on what bullying is in a fresh way . . . a different way . . . It was even more to think about than the previous, similar web conference ”There is a Bully in All of Us” where I first came into contact with your work . . .
I was truly amazed at the depth of the definition of bullying that you refer too. What most struck me, of course, was the name: “There is a Bully in All of Us”.

Wait a minute, I thought . . . an unpleasant thought crossed my mind . . . it would mean that there is a bully in me too!

It was a quite non-digestible personal responsibility at first . . . Until then, I had only perceived the phenomenon outside me . . . But later, after listening to the conference, reading through your articles and your other work the tricky truth about the use and abuse of power became more and more obvious to me.

It meant that I would need to take care of my “inner bully” rather than take care of bullies “outside me”. It meant constant awareness on how I use aggression and power . . . It meant greater clarity on what triggers my pain and why is this so . . . It also meant continuous questioning of what is the way of love and what is the way of adversity . . .

I had to slow down and think about the boundaries of my own power. I had to think about how I feed conflict and I had to think about my language and my thoughts of violence . . . It just affirmed what I thought I knew before – that hurt can easily turn into anger.

What is most important, turning inwards to look for the bully within made me realize that I have learned to make a home for it . . . How much of what I say and do can be bullying . . . and how I have allowed and given meaning to something to hurt me . . .

I am so grateful that I have been given the opportunity to learn again . . .
-Biljana Ognenova, Skopje, Republic of Macedonia

LINKS

Read the following articles by Judith about bullying:
There Is A Bully in You, A Bully in Me, A Bully in Everyone: What We Need to Do About It
There's a Bully in All of Us

Read the following interviews with Judith about bullying:
Bullies & Misfits: A Holiday Special
Bullied No More

If you would like to help bring my work with bullying to your area or to a school, group, or organization to which you belong, email me to explore how to bring me to your organization to:

• give a talk (live or via teleconference or web conference)
• lead a workshop

Or contact me to arrange a personal consultation with me about bullying, about healing your relationship with power in any of its many forms, or about healing whatever wounds you have experienced and feel called to heal.