"What To Look For In A Therapist Or Healer
Or Spiritual Teacher"
article by Judith Barr

“Power is like fire, lightning, wind, ocean – like life itself – a raw, vibrant force of nature. It has the potential for great harm and the possibility for magnificent good. Each of us chooses, whether consciously or unconsciously, how we will use the power of our own life energy.
             “Every form of power can be used well or misused.
            “The law has been used to manipulate as well as to serve justice.
Parenthood has been used as a means of captivity, and it has been used to nourish a soul, helping it grow into fullness. Sexuality has been used as a weapon to rape and dominate, as a substitute for unmet childhood bonding and physical touch, and as an exquisite sacred expression of love and union.
            “Even God’s name has been used both to destroy and to heal. Zealots have committed acts of violence all over the world in the name of religion. In contrast, practitioners world-wide speak different names for God as they lay hands on suffering bodies to touch hearts and souls and restore them to health.” *

            Power is abused in every arena of life. Many of those arenas are out in the open for all to see – for example politics, government, school shootings, war. But limitless instances of the misuse of power are hidden behind closed doors – in the nursery, in the bedroom, in the doctor’s office, in the board room. Unfortunately, many of us have become numb to the abuse of power, and many others have simply normalized it.

           I originally began writing my book, Power Abused, Power Healed, as a result of my grave concern about the misuse and abuse of power in the healing professions. Part of my intention in writing the book and bringing it out into the world is to help people discern what is a misuse or abuse of power when they experience it – at the hands of someone else, or within themselves –  whether in the therapy room, the healing room, or right out in the world at large.

           Although we might wish it weren’t true, every day psychotherapists, massage therapists, spiritual teachers and healers violate their clients and students under the pretext of helping them heal and grow. To help inform people how to choose their therapists and spiritual teachers, I offer the following list of crucial characteristics in someone with whom you choose to do your inner work of psyche and soul.

Find a therapist, healer, spiritual teacher who . . .

1. does his or her own personal healing work.
2. receives ongoing supervision from another professional about the work he or she is doing with clients.
3. is not afraid of his/her own feelings or yours.
4. knows how to utilize feelings healthily:  knows which ones are here and now feelings to follow into right action, and which ones are ancient feelings, from early in life – primal feelings that are calling for healing.
5. knows this work is not and cannot be quick fix work; someone who does quick-fix work will only repress the roots of the problem further and delude everyone into a false perception of what is going on.
6. honors the shadow – the dark unknown within us that holds our strengths and weaknesses, meanness and lovingness, wounds to be healed and gifts to be birthed into the world.
7. holds together light and dark, positive and negative, joy and pain – for the sake of everyone’s wholeness.
8. has a passionate, ferocious commitment to his/her own healing and consciousness and to that of his/her clients
9. welcomes the Divine, as the client knows it, into the work.
10. knows the truth, that as a therapist/healer she/he has a lot of power, and is committed to using that power well.

            As healing arts professionals it is our sacred responsibility to be committed to discerning how we are really using our power, and to heal whatever is in us that might lead us to abuse our power. As people looking for someone with whom to work, it is our sacred responsibility to carry out that search with intention, purpose, and great care.

         It is my prayer that this article, my book, and the need in our world will help you to choose to use your power now, differently than you would have before you read this.

© 2007 by Judith Barr

*The first part of this article was quoted from Judith Barr’s book Power Abused, Power Healed.  Judith is a depth psychotherapist and spiritual midwife in Brookfield, Connecticut. To learn more about Judith’s work with power, you can order her book by clicking this link, and contact her at JudithBarr@PowerAbusedPowerHealed.com.