YOUR FEELINGS ARE NOT
monsters, and yet you
may be afraid of them
because of your early experiences with
feelings as child. You’re afraid because,
even as an adult, you are still trying to
keep that original pain buried—even
though buried feelings feed the misuse
and abuse of power.
You’re afraid because in order to
keep the original pain buried,
you feed the fear by making it
seem like “you’re bad” if you
feel like: demeaning people
who feel (“you’re hysterical”),
attacking people who feel
(“you aren’t strong enough to
protect us”), and threatening
people who feel (telling a
child “I’ll give you something
to cry about”). Such ways of feeding the
fear are forms of abuse.
You’re afraid because so many people
advise and entice you to get rid of
your feelings: medicating them away
with various drugs, alcohol, and activities
like sex, work, shopping, eating;
managing and controlling them; “getting
on with” life without them; and
rising above them into the spiritual. All
of these become addictive. If you try to
get rid of your feelings, they haunt
you, insisting you work with them.
You’re afraid of your feelings
because you don’t yet know how to
utilize them safely as guides to your own healing, to your own becoming,
to your true self. |
You don’t yet know
how to discern which feelings need to
be acted on in the here and now and
which feelings are not to be acted on,
but instead are divining rods to your
deepest wounds, calling to be healed.
When you are afraid of your feelings
and normalize the hidden fear
and the many guises that hide it, you
slowly but surely become like a trained
animal (easy to control) or like a robot
(easy to program).
When you allow yourself to be
frightened, pulled, and seduced further
away from your feelings, you sign a
death sentence to your true self and
your full potential. You may also end
up with buried feelings and
deadened instincts, not
knowing who to believe,
afraid to trust lest you be
betrayed again, convinced
you can have no impact, or
fighting like the devil to try
to have influence, or feeling
powerless in the face of what
you see in your leaders who
reflect to you the authorities you were
wounded by in childhood.
You can help reverse this tragic
pathway. By reconnecting with your
feelings, by learning which feelings are
meant as signals for here-and-now
action, by following your feelings to
the source of the wound for healing,
and by serving as a grounded, authentic
model to everyone you touch—you
can bring yourself back to life!
Judith Barr - author of Power Abused, Power Healed.
Email JudithBarr@PowerAbusedPowerHealed.com
ACTION: Use your feelings as guides. |
